Sometimes I forget about them. The milestones. After G. was diagnosed with ASD, I unsubscribed to the parenting sites for N-Typical kiddos. Every email and milestone check point felt like a slap in the face. G. doesn’t hit those milestones, and A. will hit them, but just and typically, not exceed beyond that point. All kids develop at different rates, and with ASD, development could mean so many things. Wonderful things.
For the past couple weeks, maybe 3 now, A. has definitely shown he had a birthday. Turning 7, he is not at the same level of his peers socially, academically we are still struggling to assess him as it all depends on his mood and environment. Mainly he struggles with motor skills, such as writing. This is trickles down to all the subjects as writing is so essential even in Kindergarten. However, he also struggles with auditory processing making instructions difficult for him to follow. He manages though with help and support and is doing alright. We want him to do more, the more we know he can do…but that is another subject for another time.
Today was a Kung-fu day. A. has been doing well with his private 15 minute lessons. The studio is smelly. I hate sitting in there waiting for him, especially as it is by all the shoes in the cubbies. I find it very distracting and overwhelming. A. somehow does not notice the smell, or if he has, does not specify it. The noise is his biggest challenge. Two mats, one large studio. Many instructors, even more kids, multiple classes going on at the same time! It is a sensory nightmare, really. I will not even go into the lighting. Anyhow, in spite of all this, A. is able to be be redirected and focused and typically will learn part of one move at every lesson. Many moves are two or three parts or more. Last week, he was able to do two parts of a move! This was wonderful, I thought it was a good day. Today, he did 3!! Three parts, three different movements coordinated together to make up a move. This is HUGE!! To top it all off, he REMEMBERED the name of the move! in the past he has needed to be prompted and reminded before he could repeat it back. Today he just answered back, exactly what the move was called. Proud, shocked, excited. So many emotions for something kids his age are doing with no problem. For us, it is HUGE. He turned 7 recently. The instructor asked if he had hit a milestone recently, and I appreciated she did not specify where he should be, just that it was clear he had. My little boy is growing, developing and maturing every day. I wanted him to feel the bursting in my chest for his achievements. He seemed so…’whatever’ about it. Which is probably how he should be feeling. It is a normal feeling of any kid who thinks we, as parents, are daft for getting excited about a new skill they feel is second nature to them. Funny how it seems to go over his head that a few weeks ago, one part of one move was a real struggle for him. To him, in his little world, it just is now. It is natural.
School has also noticed a big developmental surge lately. Math has suddenly clicked with A. Reading is becoming easier and concepts of figuring out a word, sounding out, etc., are finally clear to him. Other things are big too. Socially he has rekindled a friendship with a kid he fell out with due to his limited verbal expression. Things are going well for A. “Well.”
Little brother G. is also going through some kind of developemental growth. Reflecting on what life was like even 6 months ago…it is amazing how far he has come. Socially, he says hello to everyone, goodbye. He is seeking friendships, actively asking for kids to come over. Suddenly he is able to understand a schedule I give him and accept it. Most of the time. He loves his visual PECS boards and we utilize them daily. G. recently got his own little robot ball. A MiniSphero ball. Generally I would have to make it move on his iPad for him while he watched it and chased it round. All of a sudden he decided to do it himself. I tried several times to show him and get him to do it himself, but no. However, once G. decides he is ready for something, he just does it. All on his own. His own time. My little control kid. ABA therapist L. also noticed changes in him. We have started to introduce a new phrase for him. He has “I want” down pat. Now we are working on “Can” questions. Took a week, then again, suddenly today, he just came out with a “can” question for me. I was so excited!! With his limited speech I am always worried he will stop talking again. Or not progress after a certain point. At 4 1/2 I worry. A. picked up speech so quickly and easily. G. not so much. Speaking is a challenge. But today he independantly used the new phrase and I am beyond excited!! School too, has noticed big improvements. They seem to think moving him up to a moderate SDC classroom for TK is a real possibility. We will have to see.
Milestones are huge. Our milestones are different, but they exist and we keep seeing them develop which is amazing! I am grateful for each and every one, big or small. Each new milestone comes at it’s own pace. Nothing like the parenting blogs of Typical, but just as amazing and important non the less. After a long, hard slog of not much happening, a lot of work and little baby improvements, I am so happy to have this little surge. I am equally grateful it is happening for both my boys simultaneously, as it gives me hope for their future. It makes all the hard work, sweat and tears, screams and meltdowns worth it. They are worth so much more than society gives them credit for. I hope this will change in time for their adult lives…and if not, that we will be able to prepare them for whatever comes their way.
autstanding 