It has been a long time. COVID lockdowns behind us. Kiddos returned to school. My parents have passed away, my kids had to learn that Daddy can take care of them too. Schools back in session. No more masks! New schools! So much has happened, too much for one post. Grief kept me away for so long, but I feel ready to return. To share our journey, in hopes it shines a little light.
My youngest was transferred after much advocating, to a specialized autism school. The district pays tuition as it is a NPS (non-public school) placement and they could not find a way for him to access his education within the public realm. By law they must. The last straw for me, was when I found out that he was being walked around the campus all day, not doing any work, to prevent “behaviors.” Emergency IEP meeting was called.
It was the middle of the school year in 2021. My mom had been diagnosed with cancer.
Over COVID lockdown, I had to tutor my son myself via zoom classes. He could not sit unassisted. He has severe autism. During that time I figured out he was capable, he was smart. He did the entire zoom days work in 30 minutes each morning. I requested more difficult work, got barely an upgrade so I supplemented.
Upon returning to the old public school, he was still doing ABC’s and site words. No math. So frustrating! He’s been doing that for 3 years! He was bored. Thus, the much needed transfer to a NPS.
Jump to current time. He is thriving!!! He is reading books instead of ABC coloring pages! He does math, up to 2 digit addition and subtraction. He participates in all activities. Sure, he gets breaks, he has moments of struggle, but they make room for it all. They teach him, he learns! His speech, being a non-verbal kiddo, has also come leaps and bounds. He is still not conversational, but boy he likes to chat!!! Loads of scripting still, he’s a functional script user, but novel language is emerging more and more. It is so incredibly exciting, sometimes I cry silent tears at night while I cuddle him to sleep, so grateful to hear him say “love you” spontaneously. So amazed at his development in such a short time. Mostly, I am grateful he is happy. He is a smiley, silly, happy kiddo. Finally. He just turned 10 in September. To think where he was a couple years ago, I am filled with pride and relief that all the fighting, all the advocating, has paid off.
Author: Vic.E.
I am a Mom. I am a Caregiver. I am an Advocate. I get paid in unconditional love, in progress and by the amazing support of my very hard-working husband who is the greatest Dad to our two boys.
Our first child came in 2011. He was orange haired and big, 9.5lbs…yikes! He was a butter ball. Just perfect and delicious! His eyes came out green like Momma’s and his skin tone white with freckles like Dad’s. He will be taller than both of us, over 6’ according to the trajectory of his health chart! He has his great grandfathers build. He is smart, has an amazing memory, is super creative, and is sensitive, so empathetic. He is my first born and just perfect. He is also diagnosed with Autism-mild, ADHD, Anxiety, dyslexia, possible dysgraphia and possible other things…really, just all things to help him get the supports he needs to thrive in life. At his core, he is who he is. Full of silly laughter, big smiles, a warm heart, intense loyalty, a strong justice gene, and a fundamental belief in the good.
My second and last child, was born in 2013. The boys are a year and a half apart. He was born looking like an old man. Poor kid was induced early, for fear of another large infant and my ignorance I had a say. He had the umbilical chord wrapped around him and was blue as can be. He recovered fine though, no need for oxygen or anything. But he was checked on a lot to be sure. His skin would be tan like mine, but he won’t go outside much in the daylight. His eyes are closer to Dad’s and his Gran’s (my husband’s mom)…hazel green/dark blue. He has moles rather than freckles, but other than the should be darker skin and moles, he looks just like his Dad. A little mini-me of my husband. Same sandy dark blond hair, same darker eyes, same features. His body is more like my husbands as well. However, he is due to grow over 6’ and will most likely be taller than his big brother! He had a level 4 tongue tie. Something I thought would stretch and break on it’s own. I was a naturalist momma. Keep those sharp objects away from my babies!!! He was able to nurse just fine, and we got to take him home. He was diagnosed first, his symptoms were classic…development fine and then massive regression. He was around a year old when we noticed. The doctor at my other son’s check up saw it, and referred us to an “evaluation” which I did not understand at the time. Anyhow. He is Severe-Autism, ADHD, non-verbal. Although, 10 years on, I don’t like that term for him. He chats all the time, mostly scripts, mostly needs and wants. Rarely anything novel comes out, but when it does it is brief, but magical!!! He progresses every day.
My life went from social to isolation pretty quick. Other’s noticed the differences with our kids, my youngest was unsafe to take out for years. So, here are our stories. Jumbled up, in reflection, looking forward, retrospective. I try to write about our progress, our hopes and show the raw side of living a life in a house of neurodivergence. You are not alone, we are many. It’s time we showed ourselves to the world and stopped hiding our kiddos away. They deserve to be celebrated, included, loved.
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