COVID-19 Surviving our Isolation

So here we are, another week of isolation. I am an introvert, I do not mind the lock-in I am under. The virus has me terrified for people like my COPD father, my family and as an asthmatic, myself. However, what I thought would be a nightmare with two ASD kiddos off schedules and routines, no therapies, no extracurricular activities or such, has turned out to be…actually, “quite nice,” as my youngest would script.

Our usual schedule is so hectic, the boys have school followed by therapy each day. Mon-Friday and Saturdays are the one fun thing for my oldest…Kung Fu!

My oldest loves his school but struggles to make new friends coming in at the middle of the year. Yet, he LOVES the weekly meetups online with his classmates, seeing their faces, hearing their chaotic voices all at the same time, does not phase him. He smiles, he waits patiently to speak to a friend he has become closer with because of this situation we are in now! Two kids that were not that close now have a standing play date (on computer video of course) to chat and share toys and nintendo tips etc. They can talk for hours!

My youngest is happiest NOT seeing anyone from his class. The fact he can just do as he pleases for a change, play with his trains and car washes, the hose, water in the sink, and just BE, has really helped him blossom in a way. His speech is better, he is more relaxed and the potty training is no more, it just works! He goes, there are no accidents!!! Novel language is not flowing as such, we have a lot of scripting, echolalia, but also, SO much more spontaneous sentences!!!! This is HUGE for him. Usually he has speech twice a week which has done wonders for him, but the NOT having the speech, is almost like a breather to digest all he’s worked on, a pause to process. It is a wonder, HE is a wonder. He smiles, he says he’s “Happy” a lot. He has his Daddy home which makes him calm and relaxed. The whole family together. Predictably unpredictable.

My husband and I are happier having time together after work, we share adult serious conversation over a cuppa, or laugh at the satire found on the internet over the whole COVID-19 and Presidential blunders. We can relax and not feel rushed for bedtimes and routines and stressed to get everyone enough sleep to survive the next day. It has been really nice connecting, co-parenting has been life changing for my anxiety levels. If only I had a live in cleaner or housekeeper though….

So we are some of those that are benefitting. We steer clear of everyone. We do not go out unless for food or medications. We do not take walks much, not me especially as it seems my neighborhood does not understand the meaning of “social distancing.” Besides, we are so used to “social distancing” due to our difficulties coping with social things, we are fine. We are good. We are happy. Happy as we can be.

Now…disclaimer, we still have ASD, ADHD and ages of two boys to contend with on rainy days stuck indoors and meltdowns. We have over and under-stimulation. We have our reality still, our “autism moments” but they are easier to deal with because we all have each other, because the pressures are off. Because we are taking the pause and embracing our gratitude that our loved ones are safe and healthy (currently) and hopefully stay that way.

So many are not as lucky with this. I feel their pain as if it was the end of last summer all over again…

I am contented. I am also…not doing the homework and homeschooling. It is not required yet, so why push it? Our kiddos, we parents, all work HARD 36/8! We deserve to take the break.

Cheers!

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Author: Vic.E.

I am a Mom. I am a Caregiver. I am an Advocate. I get paid in unconditional love, in progress and by the amazing support of my very hard-working husband who is the greatest Dad to our two boys. Our first child came in 2011. He was orange haired and big, 9.5lbs…yikes! He was a butter ball. Just perfect and delicious! His eyes came out green like Momma’s and his skin tone white with freckles like Dad’s. He will be taller than both of us, over 6’ according to the trajectory of his health chart! He has his great grandfathers build. He is smart, has an amazing memory, is super creative, and is sensitive, so empathetic. He is my first born and just perfect. He is also diagnosed with Autism-mild, ADHD, Anxiety, dyslexia, possible dysgraphia and possible other things…really, just all things to help him get the supports he needs to thrive in life. At his core, he is who he is. Full of silly laughter, big smiles, a warm heart, intense loyalty, a strong justice gene, and a fundamental belief in the good. My second and last child, was born in 2013. The boys are a year and a half apart. He was born looking like an old man. Poor kid was induced early, for fear of another large infant and my ignorance I had a say. He had the umbilical chord wrapped around him and was blue as can be. He recovered fine though, no need for oxygen or anything. But he was checked on a lot to be sure. His skin would be tan like mine, but he won’t go outside much in the daylight. His eyes are closer to Dad’s and his Gran’s (my husband’s mom)…hazel green/dark blue. He has moles rather than freckles, but other than the should be darker skin and moles, he looks just like his Dad. A little mini-me of my husband. Same sandy dark blond hair, same darker eyes, same features. His body is more like my husbands as well. However, he is due to grow over 6’ and will most likely be taller than his big brother! He had a level 4 tongue tie. Something I thought would stretch and break on it’s own. I was a naturalist momma. Keep those sharp objects away from my babies!!! He was able to nurse just fine, and we got to take him home. He was diagnosed first, his symptoms were classic…development fine and then massive regression. He was around a year old when we noticed. The doctor at my other son’s check up saw it, and referred us to an “evaluation” which I did not understand at the time. Anyhow. He is Severe-Autism, ADHD, non-verbal. Although, 10 years on, I don’t like that term for him. He chats all the time, mostly scripts, mostly needs and wants. Rarely anything novel comes out, but when it does it is brief, but magical!!! He progresses every day. My life went from social to isolation pretty quick. Other’s noticed the differences with our kids, my youngest was unsafe to take out for years. So, here are our stories. Jumbled up, in reflection, looking forward, retrospective. I try to write about our progress, our hopes and show the raw side of living a life in a house of neurodivergence. You are not alone, we are many. It’s time we showed ourselves to the world and stopped hiding our kiddos away. They deserve to be celebrated, included, loved.

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